Anyway, as I was reading it I thought about, as I often do, who would be best fitted to play the characters in the inevitable movie adaptation. And if they're already talking about adapting Sandman, then fuck, this must be right around the corner, eh? In which case these are my picks:
Shadow - Jason Momoa
Shadow is big, but not dumb (though he allows others to assume as much), and his biracial heritage is a constant source of confusion for other people. Jason Momoa was stellar in Stargate: Atlantis as a guy who could understand the situation even if he wasn't as educated as everyone else. He'd be a great fit.
Wednesday - Donald Sutherland
Loki - Jackie Earle Haley
Haley was the best part of the Watchmen adaptation. I think he'd fit well playing yet another convict. (Though I know he fears being typecast as villains.)
Mr. Nancy - Sydney Poitier
Let's be real here - Poitier was a real hottie when he was younger, and you can tell even today. Who else to play the ladykiller Mr. Nancy?
Czernobog - Daniel Day-Lewis
Okay, so Day-Lewis is a bit too young for Czernobog. But you gotta admit - he really rocks the mustache well, and that's one of the character's trademarks. He also does a good job of playing the right mixture of endearing + dangerous.
Mr. Jaquel - Lance Reddick
Reddick is dignified, intelligent, and just a little mysterious - perfect for playing one of the Egyptian gods of the dead.
Easter - Christina Hendricks
Voluptuous, sensual redhead - done!
Mad Sweeney - Kevin McKidd
Okay, so he's Scottish instead of Irish. Regardless, he's a seasoned actor and he's damn tall, so I think he'd fit the bill.
Whiskey Jack - Branscombe Richmond
While younger than Whiskey Jack is supposed to be, I think Richomond has a sense of jollity and humor about him that is essential to the character.
Bast - Halle Berry
Berry is sexy and powerful - perfect for the cat goddess. Plus, she needs a chance to redeem herself after Catwoman.
Horus - Donald Glover
I can't really explain why I imagine Glover as Horus. He just seems to fit: youthful, but sad. And I think he could portray madness very well.
The Tech Boy - Jim Sterling
God of the internet played by a real-life internet celebrity? C'mon, it's too perfect.
Laura - Scarlet Johansson
Maybe it's just because she's America's darling right now. Or maybe it's because the idea of making such a stunningly attractive woman incredibly unattractive through the rot and decay of death appeals to me.
You will probably notice that there are quite a few characters missing here. That's for a couple reasons:
1) I can see the character in my head clear as day, but for the life of me I can't figure out what the name of the actor is. (Mr. Ibis, Mama-Ji)
2) The person I have picked is someone I know in real life, and it'd be inappropriate to plaster their name and face on the internet. (My girlfriend from high school is a dead ringer for Sam, lemme tell you.)
3) The cast of characters for American Gods is FUCKING HUGE. Holy crap.
However, I would very much like to hear other people's ideas for casting of this hypothetical movie - either for characters I've already listed or ones that I left out. Sound off in the comments if you dare.